Nourishing Love ♥

Chapter 3: Cried, Broken Heart by Students

yesterday was the last day of my work.
for this year only.
and yesterday was wednesday.
so it was the camp our tuition teacher organized.

i'm 1 of the teacher in charge.
and yesterday's tittle was a stage play.

all of the teachers were going to act for the students.
so we choose Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.
as they were all kids.

the camp last for two hours.
we finish our play in an hour.
while another hour,

we all teachers said about everything we learned
and our feelings.

before it's my turn,
i cried.

i'm the first 1 who cry.
among all the teachers.

i just feel sad when i think that
all these will end here end now.

i know i'll miss this feeling
and i surely will always rmb it deep inside my heart.

althought it's really tiring
preparing all the things for them every wednesday.
but when we all think that they will be happy about this,
all the tired went away.

but sometimes,
the students really hurt us teachers.

we prepare all these and sleep between 2 or 3 AM
just because preparing these.
and the students come tell us this.

student A:
teacher, teacher.

me:
yes? what's wrong?

student A:
this game is not fun at all. what is all these about?

student B:
ya lo, yalo. if i know this will be so boring, it's better i didn't come.

the words acts as a knife and stab straight into my heart.
i immediately feel the huge pain inside of me.

we prepare till can't even sleep well.
and yet they tell us this is not fun.

another thing is if a student or a group of them won,
we will be giving prizes.
papers of stars.

they can use the stars to change the things they wan.
like erasers, pens, colouring books, etc.

that time the tittle is 'The Warriors' Door'.
and it includes 5 games inside.
some sort like treasure hunt.

after 1 stop is complete,
teacher in charge gave them marks,
which group got the highest mark wins.

after this camp ended,
i heard 2 students conver.

student A:
yerr~ teacher so bad. give us so little stars.

student B:
yalo. give us so little marks some more. that's y we can't win.

student A:
yala! don't know how they become teacher.

i nearly step forward and slap both the students,
but i didn't.
because i know,
i'm a teacher.

it's a very harsh words they're saying.
so they come to the camp just to get the stars.
but not come enjoy what we gave out for them.

just as what i told,
because yesterday is the final day,
so we say some of our feeling.

so mine goes like this.

me:
do u all know who i am?
(because the light were off so i have to ask this)

ALL:
黄老师

me:
hmm. for what i wanted to say is,
just now the Sleeping Beauty,
i'm the 1 who's doing the cut and action.
RIGHT?

ALL:
YES~

me:
and i was sitting at the corner. while waiting the parts to end,
a student tell me that he wanted to go out. he told this play is so boring.
it's better staying at home.

i don't wan to say who is he.
but i can tell u.
when i heard this, i feel really hurt and sad.

we planned all these, and we even practice to make it even prefect.
and in the end, the answer i get from the student is
'it's so boring', 'not nice 1', 'better stay at home'

and is the stars are more important than what we did for u?
is the stars more important than what we ask u to be?

is it the stars more important than we human teachers?!

all u care about is ur stars!
did u ever say than you to us?
maybe 1 of us.

NO! u never did!
all u care about is how many u got this week!

thank you from u are important,
but the most important thing is
u to be happy.

if u're happy,
we'll be happy as well.

sometimes, nvm if u purposely said it,
or accidentaly split it out,
the words let us feel like we failed to make u happy,
and instead, we made u bored.

we feel depress and hurt and sad with the words u say.
talk after u think.

maybe the words next will hurt the preson u're talking to.

all the things we prepare,
u all just sit there and wait for the fun to begin.

all the thing we find ourselves,
u all just come and wait for the show to begin.

isn't this not good enough?
i don't understand how good u still wan.

moreover,
this camp is free.

TOTALLY FREE

where can u find something this good somewhere else?
here,
we give u special plans
special games.

but u never feel grateful.

be grateful when u should and when u must.

so that's what i said.
i say it in chinese so,
translate isn't easy as well.
sorry if there're mistakes inside.

i never wan this to end.
if i got choices,
i'll choose to turn time back to
the first day of this camp.

i wouldn't mind if it's tiring.

all that i know is,
i'm so gonna miss this feeling.

playing with them,
having fun with them.

i just don't wan these to end so quickly.

-sob,sob,sob-

in the silence night of that day,
i cry again.

-shhhhh-

oh ya.
b4 i forgot.

how i wish my HIM would give me this as surprise.